Fall in love with autumn

I, like many people, believe that autumn of life will happen when I reach 60+, my kids will be adults, grandbabies on the way or visiting for holidays, and my husband and I will be happily retired with a city place and cottage for holiday. Autumn is connected with slowing down, enjoying the small moments, happiness in colour-changing foliage, sunset-lit walks, and hot beverages near the hearth.

This is the representation of late adulthood I got from the feel-good, rom-com, and emotional family movies. Sometimes I get the feeling, that at my age, I should be somewhere else: with kids, moving to a new place, all my issues resolved, amazing career ahead of me with fat checks to support a lavish lifestyle and expensive wardrobe. Once again, these ideas have settled in as a result of movies or series over-exposure that many times I used as an escape from the reality of life. This escapism has been a part of my life from my teens – as I got hold of my first laptop I submerged myself into this imaginary world.

Today, I want to be in that stage of life. To have it all sorted out, to know who I am, who I became, what my worth is and what/who is important for my well-being. Since I have no time machine, that would not solve the issue of development, just a timeline, I need to go through it. I need to solve it all out. And I can do it while enjoying the autumnal moments now.

I can read through piles of motivational literature, posts, and journal articles, and I can write it all down, my visions, dreams, and hopes into the best-concept journal of all time. But I still have to work on it. As this year began I pinpointed several points I want to grow at. This is no place to look back or re-evaluate my resolutions for the year. This is a place to think of the enjoyable moments that will help me to fulfill the expectations I imposed on myself.

This autumn, I want to:

• fly a kite: I've never done it as a child, so I enjoy kiting as an adult. There is a nice spot near my home, enough wind, and a nice coffee shop on the way;

• make myself cozy and comfy at home: enjoy a nice beverage (hot cocoa with whipped cream and marshmallows), read as much as possible (no spooky books for me);

• enjoy a nice autumn walk with the love of my life, and take nice photos, preferably in other countries (Vienna is sufficient, just an hour's train ride away);

• enjoy a proper home spa: face mask, hand mask, feet mask, hair mask, make myself a nice manicure, pamper me as much as possible;

• bike to work whenever possible: good for both my mental and physical health. I never bike in sports attire or active wear, I make myself believe I am as stylish as Danish or Dutch cities; the only thing missing is the sea or cute houses lining the path.

• try a new place: restaurant, coffee shop, have a classic date with dinner and drink, walk hand-in-hand and feel like in those cheesy romantic movies;

• enjoy a movie night in or out with popcorn and nachos;

• visit family in my hometown, visit grandma at a nursing home, and enjoy being together;

• make a real effort, take real steps to make my life better;

• spend quality time with friends: have breakfast, lunch, or just a quick coffee with people dearest to my heart;

• do me time at museums, galleries, and coffee dates with myself, for myself, just to tune in with my thoughts, deep fears, or superficial needs. You need to treat yourself with free, cheap, or even expensive experiences to make

• yourself happy.

Every year, month, week, day, and hour can be a mark of a fresh new start. I start every season, month, and week. I measure my small happy moments in seasons. This ensures me that whatever shitstorm might be happening, I know what will make me feel slightly better for a tiny moment I can reminisce on, be nostalgic about, and use to comfort me when life becomes harsh again.